My Forum

[iprince]

Stop.

Just...stop.

This doesn't apply to everyone, but it certainly applies to...well...a fair few of you, I dare say. I won't name names, but you should know who you are.

As I was saying...

Stop.

My Forum (I believe some of us are forgetting this fact), is not for people to run around behind each other's backs and snipe and gossip or whatever it is you're doing. My Forum was not made for people to snark at one another, and making other people feel like shit. Look, if you have problems, I honestly don't mind you asking for help here (personal or otherwise), I'm not always willing to be the one to offer advice, but I'm certainly not going to support anyone's criticism toward someone else. If you don't enjoy listening to other's purge their emotions (I, personally, become a little frightened when it happens, simply because I have no idea how to respond), then ignore the rant and keep it to yourself.

The point of this?

Please, please stop making other people's lives miserable. That's what sadists and criminals are for (or rather nasty grade two teachers, but we're not going to worry about them right now). If YOU have a problem with SOMEONE ELSE; either what they are doing, how they are acting, etc. tell Mem[/u].

This is My Forum. If you have a problem, it is My Job to fix it. I'm the little president running about making sure my country is in order. It's my job to stop it from turning to anarchy and to keep the nasty, nasty criminals and sadists (if not the grade two teachers) from going about doing horrible things to other people.

I have mods, yes. My mods jobs are to pick up what slack I can't concerning the critters. If there's a major problem, it is there job to inform me of it, not to deal with it themselves. My mods don't get special powers or privileges. Don't treat them as if they're aren't people, for lord's sakes.

I really, really hate doing stuff like this, but I've had people come to me in tears (or rather, informing me they're emotionally distressed), and others with hefty complaints.

Honest to god, this is not Shiv. This is not some teenage-girl snipe fest. This is a Roleplay. This is a Mature roleplay, even. For, I should hope, Mature people, who can restrain themselves enough to either ignore what they don't like, or complain to the People In Charge about it, or, if it is a personal matter, Be Polite and Courteous. I don't care if you "hate their guts", you WILL NOT make my members, people who I love and care about, feel like shit. You WILL NOT, or you're out of here.

Yes, yes, I understand a lot of you take advantage of me. I honestly don't care. I like catering to my member's wishes. I like satisfying them. This isn't a car dealership where I'm trying to get a profit out of this. I want YOU to be happy. I am trying to make YOU happy, by doing everything within my power. I work fast, I do loads of critters, and I'm lenient with rules and deadlines. If you think that sniping about me behind my back, or abusing my nice-ness if a great way to repay my desire to make YOU happy, so be it. Go right ahead and do that, loves. I don't care. It's your conscience.

This is not a rant. This is a warning.


I do believe this is the first time I have every complained about anything since joining the cyberpet community. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, of course.

[iprince]

Now...I have egg-hunt critters to finish.

Reply to this if you'd like, or PM me with comments (or complaints, as I'm sure I'm going to get them), and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

[iprince]

Actually, before I poof...

I want you to respond to this. I want you're feelings concerning this, whether you've seen other cases of ridiculous discourtesy on My Forum, or whether you yourself have felt you've been 'attacked' in any way shape or form. Give me your opinions. Is Mem overacting? Is she underacting?

Please be blunt. Skirting around issues will not make Mem feel very happy right now.

[iprince]

I'm probably going to regret this in the morning.

Actually, I probably regret this now.

I've gone all twitchy.

Nevertheless, members are upset, and it's my job to bring it to the attention of the general populi.

Mem, as you all might tell by now, is not very good at this.

[zelda]

Well i truely think your reacting just fine for a matter like this. I find it slightly annoying when people ~are~ bothered by something and yet they read it anyways. And they know what it is, and really it isn't that difficult to know what topic is a rant or something in my mind.

Though to be honest I think the reason some people don't come to you is beacause they know your busy, and they probably don't think you can handle it right now. Then there are probably other reasons, though I don't want to anger anyone by saying them>.<
it bothers me that others talk badly about members behind their back or sneek around. Though I have done it myself but normally it is with member THAT don't follow the rules, or are extremely rude..and most of the time I am tring to get answers of what i should do, or get others oppinions to see if they think the same thing. A lot of the times I have to prod some members to get their oppinion about a member specially over at Shivuez x.x Shivuez tends to bother me, cause you can feel the tension when your their<.<; Though i hate talking behind peoples back, cause it is wrong. Though a lot of times when in shivuez you try to talk to someone about a problem, especialy with the newbies they tend to over react the whole thing and get angry-_-so yeah...

Though I think people should start coming to you if there is a problem and talk about it rationally, and not hysterically or angered. It never helps a situation out at all, and it does make it hard to react to such a thing. If someone has problems with someone else then they should talk to the member themselves, or talk to you..and it is your forum and you have the last say in anything that should be changed or done.

I personally think you kindof underacting the situation now that i think about it, for when someone hurts anothers feelings that can cause a bigger problem between the members. Though I find it silly that anyone would have issues with anyone here. For we are all old enough to deal with things. I get jealous of some of the members rather easily cause they have such beautiful crits from you, but I don't let it bother me much cause I know I will work my way up to getting some really cool crits myself. Though thats kindof off the subject, but really what I am saying is that yeah we all have issues with certain members. Letting it be anger, jealousy, or pure hatred for what they seem to do. It is how we handle it that makes us childish or adult like.

I kindof see it as if you run to other members complain about a certain person like a child then you are childish. Then if you react upon that towards the member then you might as well leave cause that shouldn't be accepted. If you calmly discuss the matter with the member and possibly Mem and get feelings straighten out, then maybe something can be pulled to an agreement. Then your acting more like an adult and getting things fixed. I don't know thats kindof how I feel about it...sorry if I might be to blunt and hurt someones feelings >.< I like to speak my mind..but I hate hurting others-_-

Really, I don't like the idea of advantage of you x.x I hate takeing advantage of people to make me happy..cause it makes me sad thinking I am taking advantage of someone>.< Since I hate when people take advantage of me...Though you are just amazing with everything you do, and if I can help in anyway to not take advantage just tell me cause i really don't want to end up doing that>.<

[Kitty Love]

I feel... terribly? Blissfully? Ignorant at this point. I'm kinda thinking some things have gone on without me really knowing it and fro this I think I'm quite glad.

I've never spoken ill of anyone here, and I've never had anyone speak ill of anyone to me, but yes, I see that as a problem especially with such a small, rather close group as this. I think yer acting just fine.

And yes, I agree, rants are pretty easy to pick out and most of them even have Rant in their title, don't like rants? Don't read them, easy as that. I usually rant to Vyn, but she's been gone/busy so I haven't been able to so I just needed to vent, and I did it here. Do I feel bad about it? No. Should I? No. Everyone needs to rant sometimes, it's healthy.

I've brought a few questions to mods before, LC questions, but I've never actually had any problems here. As far as I know everyone's nice to me and I'm nice to them.

Don't regret this, it's necessary to those who've violated this. They need to know and they need to quit. We're all friends here, and we should stay that way.

Now... I can offer you a cuddle and some nice warm tea, or cocoa.. .whichever you'd prefer. =3

[tigs]

Kitty, Mem? AMEN SISTAHS!

I personally am tired of fighting people's battles because they're too childish to deal with life. I agree with the rant thing- there have been TWO rants in the ENTIREITY of this board re-opening, BOTH of which have had warnings in the titles and one was just someone having a bad day who needed to vent. I'm going to be bold here and say... I SUPPORT THAT. You know what? I know a lot of suicidal people, some of the people on this board may feel that way some day and if them ranting here to good friends saves them from that or even lifts their spirits and makes the load easier to carry even a little, knowing someone is listening to them and they are NOT alone- I SUPPORT THAT. In fact, I'd be downright pissed if I even caught wind that people were suppressing their emotions for the squeamishness of certain others.

It has rant in the title, you don't like rant, don't read it. Unless the scary man in your closet comes out and forces you to click that button and read that page because he knows how much you hate rants- then you can't blame anyone but yourself for having to suffer through reading about someone else's misfortune.

I was having trouble before because I was beating myself up for trying to take an authoritive position that I've been given. Mem appreciates her law being layed down by her officials, because she feels terrible having to speak out like this, and you know what? I'd rather be the big bad wolf than her. I shouldn't feel like the bad guy every time I have something to say- I shouldn't feel like the bad guy because I'm standing up against behaviour that I feel is wrong or unfair in ANY way. I AM a moderator, but I am a person too and I will NOT stand to be treated like dirt any longer because what I say isn't perfectly 'mod-like'. It's not like half of you show respect to the mods or Mem for that matter anyway. So I feel free to speak like the human being I am.

I hope everyone else does the same. If you feel that someone is pressuring you in ANY way to silence yourself for the sake of their comfort- report it to us. As Mem said- this is HER board and nobody else's and SHE makes the rules, not anyone else.

That having been said, I hope I can continue to be a rant/anger output for anyone who needs it. For a lot of issues a lot of people have had and will have- I've been there. I love talking to people and making them feel better, and even if it kills me with stress I will do everything I can to make everyone happy when they have concerns. As long as these concerns don't involve anyone ELSE suffering to make you or anyone else happy. I don't do that.

I don't think there's anything more to be said that hasn't been covered XD.

[silverdust]

*squirms*

I suppose its a bit of a relief that I really don't get the whole picture behind the warning; as far as I know I thought things were going really well. I know I'm not really a full mod yet, but it kind of makes me wonder exactly what I've been missing here. I feel like I've been neglecting my duty here, which is horrible because the reason I volunteered is because Mem takes so much upon herself, and is by far the most lenient and good-natured person when it comes to adoptions *hugs* I don't feel like tearing at old wounds, but I'd appreciate it if somehow I could get the details, at least to understand the situations. But if it's something that doesn't need to be spoken about any longer, I understand and am perfectly okay with that as well.

I'd like to apologize then for not doing the job I was supposed to do. But I don't want this to get misconstrued, gods forbid I'm trying to guilt anyone/blame anyone/ask for pity ^^;; I know its not anyone's responsibility but my own and the depth to which I was willing to get involved. In the furture I'll try my hardest to be involoved in the more intricate issues that happen here and try to prevent something like this from happening again. Sorries Mem *snugs* You're a saint luff.

[tigs]

Don't worry silverdust hon *snuggles*. This is not in ANY way your fault <3. I was trying to take over for... everyone XD and then got disheartened with the lack of respect and decency going on around here. In a nutshell, certain people have been bickering about others behind their back to me probably trying to provoke a response against said person or maybe they just really needed to vent.. though talking to the person generally helps more at some point, whether it's after you've vented and calmed down or not. Others yet have been complaining to me about a multitude of bad vibes they're getting off certain members, their actions and things such as Karma making them feel really unwelcome. Which I do not stand for. Then when people attempt to speak out they are chased away and made to feel like their opinion no matter what it is, will be unwelcome by someone and they will be hated.

To be blunt, THAT is the atmosphere we have right now. Where people are afraid of what they post, want to edit or delete it because they feel BAD for speaking their minds, because apparently freedom of speech was taken away from this board at some point without any of the mods or admins being informed of this.

Now Mem is doing a lovely job of warning everyone that this is not how she wants HER board to be run, and she wants her members to feel welcomed and open at all times. A little honesty goes a long way, and I think everyone needs to start coming out with what they have to say instead of being afraid that someone else will be offended by their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Because if that happens we are not afraid to take action.

And that's pretty much all that anyone has missed XD aside from what was actually said in the PMs, which will be kept confidential. But it's safe to say a lot of people won't know what's going on because... well... you don't get the PMs that I have XDD. I will try to keep everyone better informed in the future however and send any troublesome or worrysome PMs to the other mods, including you silverdust <3.

[saturnalia]

Hmm. Wasn't going to respond, but then I realized that's probably counter-productive. So, my little bit o' input...

Firstly, I definitely don't have any problems with anyone here. I also, however, am not really close to anyone here. Maybe that's because I tend to be pretty quiet, and I haven't been around a lot lately, and have yet to get involved with much of the roleplaying beyond the hunt last year. I plan for that to change.

However, that being said, I think, in a small community like this, it can be hard to sort of 'break in'. Friendships are already established, and I know that I'm the kind of person that doesn't want to butt in anywhere I'm not wanted. I tend to hesitate before posting, for this reason. Not through the actions of any specific person, but I often feel that if I reply to a thread it'll be overlooked, because people are mostly just responding to their established friends. Likewise, I don't really feel comfortable starting topics, because I just assume they'll be ignored. Now, on my part, I know I'm paranoid, and this very well may not be the case at all, and just the product of my mind.

I'm also not sure if, at least in part, I come off as aloof and/or unfriendly, because I don't post as often. If so, it's definitely not what I'm intending. If anyone does think of me like that, though, I have no problems with getting told, because then I can work at trying to change that.

Hopefully that made sense. =)

[tigs]

To be honest, you don't post nearly as much as I think you should . From what I've seen you say in the past you seem like a nice, friendly person who would be a lot of fun to get to know. So... let us get to know you! I try to respond to everyone I can, because I really do love meeting new people, and I know what it's like to be on the outside looking in... it's not a very fun experienced as compared to always being in the middle of things and joining in on silly discussions and whatnot.

I don't think your attitude comes off as aloof or anything, just a little shy ;D. Don't be afraid to say hi or something in a PM if you'd like. Sometimes it's easier to establish a few friends through private conversation, just so you don't feel like an outcast. I personally love 'hi, I'd like to get to know you' PMs <3<3.

[Mora]

Since we're on the topic, I'd like to thank everyone for making me feel very welcome. I don't know what's been going on, but all I know is people have been very friendly and have answered all of my questions, no matter how ridiculous. ^^;

I was a bit nervous at first, especially because everyone here roleplays so well, but once I jumped in a few topics I felt much more comfortable. =D

So...thank you. <3 Sorry if that was a bit random. XD;

[zelda]

Saturnalia, don't worry i feel the same way. I am really shy and a lot of times I feel that my post would be by passed. Still i post it hoping that someone will see the post. And tigs is right you seem like a really nice person and should post more^_^ I should post a bit more myself probably I dunno know

And Mora you are surrounded by some of the best people online, they are always there when need be. And they don't get angry with questions. Specially mem cause I bombard her with questions x.x which I am really sorry for mems>.<*snuggles* It really is a wonderful atmosphere here when things are going smoothly, and everyone can get along^^ *luffs spread out to all the members*<3

[FlyingPanther]

If anyone is ever feeling lonly or left out (saturnalia and Zelda like you guys mentioned) I am ALWAYS open to talking and loving everyone Xd;;;. As a mod it is my job to help make everyone here feel comfortible and loved, and as a person I feel strongly about making new friendships. I'm always willing to be anyones friend, and post to things that I can give input to. All you need but do is poke me.

I promise I don't bite XD

[saturnalia]

Tigs- Aw, thanks a bunch I'll definitely try to be more social, and to show my face more instead of just lurking. And once I get my website back up (new domain, eeee essiting!) and my LC all paged nicely, I intend to hurl myself facefirst into roleplaying. (Also, I'm almost always on AIM, and I never mind getting IMs, I'm Saturna1ia on there.)


It really is nice to see issues being addressed openly like this. I've seen too many forums where people ignore anything negative, and it ends up smouldering before igniting into something big and unfixable. Any situation is likely to have snags and bumps in the road, but even from what I've seen on this thread, there's such a willingness to fix things. Yays!

Edit-
Erk, more posts while I was writing my reply!
Thanks, FP and Zelda I definitely intend to start poking people more!
And FP... psh, some biting is good!